Coming Out as a Parent of LGBQ

As your child becomes more open, it’s important that you become more open, keeping pace to provide encouragement and emotional help. Parent support begins with being an ally, a safe person to trust, but each further step you take strengthens your child’s awareness that you are with them on their journey.

We have dozens of suggested actions you can try, but it’s important to remember this is not your story — it’s your child’s story. Your child is the one who will bear the scrutiny, the questions, and the judgement or acceptance. As you take actions to be more supportive, it’s imperative you do not ’out’ your child beyond their wishes. We’ve noted the actions you should coordinate with your child.

A simple, personal action we invite you to take is to share your story anonymously at Family Stories. This has several benefits:

• It’s completely private – You can share your experience anonymously.
• It helps you practice telling your story — Sometimes reading our own stories gives us insight and practice telling our story that can be helpful as we eventually talk with others.
• It becomes a resource for others – Parents visiting our pages can find stories from parents in similarly sized towns, geography, or family situation. You can be a help and encouragement to others.

Coming out as a parent can be gradual or sudden. As your child becomes more open, it’s important that you become more open, keeping pace to provide encouragement and emotional help. Parent support begins with being an ally, a safe person to trust, but each additional step you take strengthens your child’s awareness that you are with them on their journey.

As you take actions to be more supportive, it’s important to remember this is not your story — it’s your child’s story. Take care to not “out” your child beyond their wishes.  To help with this, we have organized suggestions in increasingly public steps. These steps help chart a path from actions that protect your child’s privacy to public actions as your child becomes more public.