• Saving Lives,
    Preserving Families.

    Strong Family Alliance has a simple mission – to save lives and preserve families by supporting parents and children coming out. We help you understand what to expect and how to keep your family strong and safe.

    Learn More »
  • My kid just came out.

    We’re Here to Help.

    If you are a parent whose child just came out, you may be struggling or wondering how to respond. We are parents too and want to help you through this crossroads and find a hopeful path for your family.

    Read This First »
  • Coming Out to Your Parents

    If you are coming out, we want your family to understand you and to realize that it’s OK that you’re LGBTQ. We hope you’ll find our coming out guide useful and that you’ll share this site with your parents.

    View Guide
  • Hopeful Voices

    You are not alone. We share stories from people who have been where you are.

    Read Stories
Our Story

“Mom, will you still love me? Will you always love me?”

That is every child’s greatest need — and greatest fear. That question is more important than the words “I’m gay” or “I’m trans”.

That question started a journey for our founder, Janet Duke — to keep her child safe, to deal with her own fear and worry, and eventually to help countless parents navigate the upheaval that occurs when a child comes out.

Watch Video
  • “Shame needs three things to grow ... secrecy, silence and judgment.”

    ~ Brene Brown

    Listening to Shame, TED 2012 (march 2012)
  • “This moment of coming out to parents is a crossroads in the life of an LGBTQ person and the parent response is a major predictor for the child’s future drug use, homelessness and suicide attempts.”

    ~ Dr. Caitlin Ryan

    Family Acceptance Project, San Francisco State University
  • “You can be your child’s anchor, their safeplace. Don’t ever drop your end of the rope.”

    ~ Dr. Phillip C. McGraw

    drphil.com

“I was devastated when my child came out, but through time, patience and a lot of prayer, I’m finally to the point where I can accept my child. It’s been hard, but so worth it to keep my family intact.”

A Mother From Arkansas

"Be brave and proud. You were born this way and God loves you just the way you are."

A Mother From Pennsylvania

"I was aware that many in our culture and in the church were not accepting of LGBTQ persons, so I was concerned what the future might hold for her."

Father and Pastor

I did a lot of grieving over the loss of the image I had of my only son in my mind and heart. (Transgender story.)

Daughter Overcomes Suffering

His journey has been a catalyst for my own journey to greater authenticity and I am deeply thankful for that. I now consider it one of the greatest blessings of my life to have a gay son. My own faith has blossomed and been renewed...

Authenticity and Deeper Faith through Journey With Gay Son

Stories

  • “I was devastated when my child came out, but through time, patience and a lot of prayer, I’m finally to the point where I can accept my child. It’s been hard, but so worth it to keep my family intact.”

    A Mother From Arkansas
  • "Be brave and proud. You were born this way and God loves you just the way you are."

    A Mother From Pennsylvania
  • "I was aware that many in our culture and in the church were not accepting of LGBTQ persons, so I was concerned what the future might hold for her."

    Father and Pastor
  • I did a lot of grieving over the loss of the image I had of my only son in my mind and heart. (Transgender story.)

    Daughter Overcomes Suffering
  • His journey has been a catalyst for my own journey to greater authenticity and I am deeply thankful for that. I now consider it one of the greatest blessings of my life to have a gay son. My own faith has blossomed and been renewed...

    Authenticity and Deeper Faith through Journey With Gay Son
Featured Resources
Community Forum

Join The Conversation

View our forum where you can ask questions of others.

Go to forum
Stay Connected
Coming out is a very personal decision, but recent research shows it is better for them to come out when they are ready rather than hide when they are wanting to be more open. A 2015 study (Coming Out At School and Well-being in Young Adulthood) found hiding their identity did not keep them safe and had other negative consequences. Key findings were:LGBT students experienced school victimization regardless of whether they attempted to conceal their identity or openly disclosed their LGBT identity. Thus hiding was not successful, on average, in protecting LGBT students from school victimization and bullying.LGBT young adults who tried to hide their sexual orientation and gender identity at school reported more victimization and ultimately, higher levels of depression than LGBT students who came out or were open about their LGBT identity at school. Feeling that they had to hide their sexual orientation and gender identity was associated with depression among LGBT young adults.Being out about one’s LGBT identity at school has strong associations with self-esteem and life satisfaction and with low levels of depression in young adulthood. Read more answers to tough questions on our website: www.strongfamilyalliance.org/parent-guide/challenges-ahead/tough-questions/ ¿Debo animar a mi hijo a ocultar su identidad LGBTQ para mantenerlo seguro?El salir del clóset es una decisión muy personal. Sin embargo, unos estudios recientes muestran que es mejor que salgan del clóset cuando están listos y que no se escondan cuando quieran salir del clóset. Un estudio de 2015 (Salir del Clóset en la Escuela; Bienestar en la Juventud) encontró que el ocultar su identidad no los resguardaba, sino que al contrario, acarreaba consecuencias negativas. Las principales conclusiones fueron:Los estudiantes LGBTQ sufren de victimización escolar independientemente de que intenten ocultar su identidad o revelen su identidad LGBTQ abiertamente. Por lo tanto, el ocultar su identidad no los salva de la victimización o de la intimidación (bullying). Los jóvenes LGBTQ que intentan ocultar su orientación sexual e identidad de género en la escuela reportan más victimización y niveles más altos de depresión que los estudiantes LGBTQ que salen del clóset en la escuela. En el estudio, el sentir que tenían que ocultar su orientación sexual e identidad de género los acarreaba a la depresión. El salir del clóset en la escuela está conectado con altos niveles de autoestima, así como con bajos niveles de depresión en los jóvenes.Lee más respuestas a preguntas difíciles en nuestro sitio web:www.strongfamilyalliance.org/parent-guide/challenges-ahead/tough-questions/ #AcceptanceStartsAtHome #AcceptanceStartsWithYou #StrongFamilyAlliance #SFamilyAlliance #AcceptanceStartsWithFamily #LGBTQsfamilyalliance #gay #lesbian #parents #family #support #resources #comingout #queer #trans #conversations #kids #closet #acceptance #love #Loveislove ... See MoreSee Less
View on Facebook

A simple, personal action we invite you to take is to share the story of your child coming out to you. This has several benefits: it’s completely private, it helps you practice telling your story and it becomes a resource for others. Click here to share: https://buff.ly/2WuSqjA