According to a 2013 Pew Research Center survey1 of LGBTQ adults 18+, overall 54% say “all or most of the important people in their life know they are LGBT.” Not all youth come out to their families. Consider that your child coming out to you shows:

  • a desire to be honest and open with you.
  • trust in you as a parent and safe confidante.
  • a wish to have a closer relationship.

You and your child may be out of sync on this journey. LGBTQ youth have probably been considering their identity for years. A second Pew Research Center survey2 shows the median age when LGBTQ adults first thought they were “something other than heterosexual” was twelve, and they “first came out to a close friend or family member” at the median age of twenty. However, ages of coming out are trending younger. In 1991 the average age of coming out was 25. By 2010 the average age was 16.3

“Our daughter especially has opened my eyes to a lot of thinking about life in different terms and different ways and I think that’s really positive, being able to learn from her. I wouldn’t have it have it any other way. I’m just thrilled. I feel like it’s a privilege and a pleasure that I would never have anticipated when we had our children.”


Mother of a lesbian daughter