Definition: Ways parents or allies can speak and act that let their community and their child know that they hold an inclusive view of LGBTQ people

Why: This is showing support, whether you have an LGBTQ loved one or not. These actions help any LGBTQ person know it’s safe to talk to you.

Timing: Any time

1 - Be a Non-Participant
Refuse to participate in subtle or overt LGBTQ disparagement
Do not use negative language, tease, or make disrespectful jokes.
Walk away from disparaging conversations.
2 - Inclusive Attitude
Make proactive efforts to discuss LGBTQ people and ideas.
Avoid silence. Silence makes LGBTQ topics seem taboo.
Find opportunities to talk about LGBT people or issues in positive ways
Talk about LGBTQ individuals you know and what you admire about them (co-workers, friends, relatives, etc.)
Discuss news stories or current events around LGBT issues (gay marriage, bathroom bills, discrimination, health issues, news, etc.)
Comment on celebrities, politicians, or advocates who are or who support LGBT and why that matters
3 - Outreach
Establish relationships with the LGBTQ community in your sphere
Encourage LGBT youth you encounter through sports, friendships, school, etc. Be friendly and normal to these youth as you would to any other.
Extend invitations to shared activities such as inviting gay neighbor to dinner or a movie, or asking someone to join a league or group activity (sports, music, gardening, cooking etc.)
4 - Take a Stand
Confront other's negative word/actions
Object to derogatory comments or jokes (“That’s a hurtful comment”, “that’s not funny”)
Correct your child (or siblings, or relatives) for negative comments
Criticize negative examples of such behavior in movies, TV, news stories, etc.
Be a public advocate
Donate to organizations that promote LTBTQ rights
Participate in demonstrations in your area
Vote for inclusive office holders
Encourage your church, temple, or mosque to support LGBTQ members
5 - Come Out Anonymously
Learn all you can
Get factual information, resources and suggestions from supportive websites such as strongfamilyalliance.org which offers basic information and pointers to extensive Resources for books, videos, blogs and articles.
Seek out stories to better understand parent and LGBTQ experiences in Family Stories and in the excellent documentary Anyone and Everyone
Share your own story in a private, confidential way
Add your story anonymously online at Family Stories
Find confidential, private support
Work with an affirming therapist
Talk with supportive, accepting clergy
Join a support group such as PFLAG

Continue to Telling Others: Coordinated With Your Child