A mom makes special efforts to educate herself and support her daughter.

A mom makes special efforts to educate herself and support her daughter.

• Briefly describe how your child first came out to you and your initial reactions.

• My daughter is 13 and came out to me via a letter she had written to me. She tucked the letter under my laptop so I would find it after she went to school. She explained that she was gay (explained what that meant though I am fully aware, so cute!) and that she knew I would still love her (tears) and that she had thought about it for a long time. While she was at school I joined our local PFLAG and sought out advice from lesbian friends to make sure I had the resources I needed to continue to be a loving and supportive parent.
  When she got home from school we went out for ice cream and we talked. I told her I got her letter, thanked her for it and told her I thought she was brave and wonderful and that I loved her. She continued to make sure I was educated about all the different

• What concerns did you experience over the first weeks or months? How did you deal with them?

• We live in an area that is mostly progressive but definitely has elements of conservative views and proud boy behavior. I am concerned for her safety when she expresses herself more in public or is in public with a partner. I will be going to the local PFLAG meetings so I am educated about what the realities are in our community and know what I can do to help my child be safe and secure in themselves.

• Has your child come out to other family members over time??

• No.

• What is the hardest thing about knowing their LGBTQ identity?

• Oh, maybe just worrying for their safety and happiness.

• What are some challenges have you faced concerning your LGBTQ child? How did you deal with these?

• It is still so new I have not had any challenges except for our first conversation when I wanted to make sure I handled it appropriately.

• What is the best thing about knowing your child's LGBTQ identity?

• She is open and honest with me and trusts me.

• Knowing what you know today, would you want your child to “stay in the closet”? Why?

• No.

• What would you say to other parents learning the LGBTQ identity of their child?

• Be supportive and loving, get in touch with community resources and people you know who are LBGTQ and can guide you.

• What would you say to youth coming out to their families?

• Do so in a way that is safe and comfortable for you, find the support you need. You are wonderful as you are.

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