Father Can’t Protect But Chooses to Love

I couldn't protect her from most hate....but decided I would try to show her that I loved her no matter what.

Briefly describe how your child first came out to you and your initial reactions.
While we were in a large mall she pointed out two girls holding hands who briefly kissed. She asked “What do you think of that?” I responded that it was their business…..and none of mine. She hugged me and told me she loved me. I realized that she was struggling with bringing up the topic of her feelings.

What concerns did you experience over the first weeks or months? How did you deal with them?
Some children can be especially cruel when dealing with other children who are different in any way. Being lesbian is different in a BIG way, and I knew that my daughter would have a difficult time as others learned of her being lesbian. I decided that I couldn’t protect her from most hate….but decided that I would try to show her that I loved her no matter what.

Has your child come out to other family members over time? What was their reaction?
es. She came out to her siblings (who are older) but I think that her siblings suspected she was gay, so they were prepared. They were never cruel or argumentative to her……but I think they were uncomfortable for a few months with discussing her sexuality with their friends.

What is the hardest thing about knowing their LGBTQ identity?
Knowing that there is an excess of hatred from some communities who condemn without empathy.

What are some challenges have you faced concerning your LGBTQ child? How did you deal with these?
I still fear for her safety because she is quite open about being gay. While I don’t want her to hide, I am fearful of all the hatred aimed at gays.

Knowing what you know today, would you want your child to “stay in the closet”? Why?
No, definitely not. Living a lie is not healthful, and while being gay has lots of challenges, it is better to focus on living a truthful life.