Father Can’t Protect But Chooses to Love

I couldn't protect her from most hate....but decided I would try to show her that I loved her no matter what.

  • Briefly describe how your child first came out to you and your initial reactions.

  • While we were in a large mall she pointed out two girls holding hands who briefly kissed. She asked “What do you think of that?” I responded that it was their business…..and none of mine. She hugged me and told me she loved me. I realized that she was struggling with bringing up the topic of her feelings.

  • What concerns did you experience over the first weeks or months? How did you deal with them?

  • Some children can be especially cruel when dealing with other children who are different in any way. Being lesbian is different in a BIG way, and I knew that my daughter would have a difficult time as others learned of her being lesbian. I decided that I couldn’t protect her from most hate….but decided that I would try to show her that I loved her no matter what.

  • Has your child come out to other family members over time? What was their reaction?

  • es. She came out to her siblings (who are older) but I think that her siblings suspected she was gay, so they were prepared. They were never cruel or argumentative to her……but I think they were uncomfortable for a few months with discussing her sexuality with their friends.

  • What is the hardest thing about knowing their LGBTQ identity?

  • Knowing that there is an excess of hatred from some communities who condemn without empathy.

  • What are some challenges have you faced concerning your LGBTQ child? How did you deal with these?

  • I still fear for her safety because she is quite open about being gay. While I don’t want her to hide, I am fearful of all the hatred aimed at gays.

  • What is the best thing about knowing your child's LGBTQ identity?

  • Knowing that she is comfortable and not constantly worried about hiding.

  • Knowing what you know today, would you want your child to “stay in the closet”? Why?

  • No, definitely not. Living a lie is not healthful, and while being gay has lots of challenges, it is better to focus on living a truthful life.

  • What would you say to other parents learning the LGBTQ identity of their child?

  • Love them all you can, because they will need and deserve it.

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