Topic:

Why did she come out?

Why did my daughter tell me that she is gay? Why not keep it a secret?

Support for parents of LGBTQ Forums Discussion Forum Why did she come out?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Janet Duke 4 months, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts

  • SMC
    #975

    Why did my daughter tell me that she is gay? Why not keep it a secret?


  • KnowItAll
    #976

    The most common reason is that many LGBTQ people feel they are lying to friends and loved ones.

    • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  jen.

    • tnTim
      #1056

      They’ve also become more clear on their personal identity and want to live more authentically with the people that care about them.

      • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  aaron.
      • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  jen.

  • NewPerson
    #977

    She probably also has more confidence her own identity or might be ready to date and is ready to come out and be accepted.

    • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  jen.

  • Aaron
    #982

    Your daughter might need your support because she’s being hazed or discriminated against. Be there for her.

    • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  jen.

  • Janet Duke
    Keymaster
    #2401

    Please consider that it is a great honor when an LGBTQ child gives a parent the truth about their identity. There are dozens of reasons they may keep silent, but uppermost are fear of losing their family/parents love, fear of the dangers they may encounter in society, and belief they will be ostracized or scorned by their church, community, or friends.

    The main reasons they come out are a desire to live authentically, a wish to be honest with their families whom they may feel they are constantly deceiving, and exhaustion at sustaining an identity that is so alien to their hopes, dreams and desires. Often the moment of coming out is a crisis for them, sometimes because of the reaction of their family and sometimes because they are on the brink of suicide or self-harm. The response of parents and family to reach out to them in love and support is of incredible importance.

    Parents and families have their own transition to go through and it can be hard. We have to change our views of the future, give up what may be cherished visions and dreams for our child’s life, and educate ourselves on a whole new world view. However, if you read the parent stories on our website they tell over and over that they are glad their child came out to them. Not that it was easy, but always that they would not go back.

    Our whole website is dedicated to helping parents learn essential information, find their balance, understand the huge significance of their actions for the future of their child, and connect them to resources. Please explore what is here.

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