Topic:

Pre-Teen Coming out

I am a mother of two pre-teen girls. My 9 year old has known she was 6 she is gay. She has had crushes on girls and refers to her feelings as “butterflies in her stomach.” I am a strong supporter of the LGBTQ community so embracing her sexuality was definitely positive.

My question is, seeing how she is so young, does anyone have advice on how to keep her confidence high and the naysayers reactions not effect her state of mind?

Support for parents of LGBTQ Forums Discussion Forum Pre-Teen Coming out

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    • mandalee
      Participant
      #3020

      I am a mother of two pre-teen girls. My 9 year old has known she was 6 she is gay. She has had crushes on girls and refers to her feelings as “butterflies in her stomach.” I am a strong supporter of the LGBTQ community so embracing her sexuality was definitely positive.

      My question is, seeing how she is so young, does anyone have advice on how to keep her confidence high and the naysayers reactions not effect her state of mind?


    • Pann
      Participant
      #3046

      Hi,
      I know this was posted a while ago. But I understand your concerns. How is it going now? My pre teen also came out and I want to support them and am not sure what I am doing right or what I am doing wrong.

      I fear that they have shared a lot of themselves with their classmates and that has possibly created challenges with the parents. I am truly struggling with making sure that they know how much I love them.

      I would like to figure out events that may be happening in our city, but even with Pride I’m having trouble finding family friendly events.

      I hope your experience is improving or that you have found ways to support your child. We are already a divorced family and they came out to me first and I’m so grateful it is just so important, I want to make sure that I am their best advocate always.

      Thank you for listening and I wish you the best,
      Pann


    • Moderator
      Keymaster
      #3142

      This reply is also months after your original post, but it may be helpful to review “Parent Actions That Help” on this site for ideas about how to solidify your child’s feeling of being supported at home. While no one can protect a child from the ugliness that exists in the world, having a parent who loves, supports, and celebrates who they are protect them from being affected by negative messages they may receive outside of the home.

      The reply above demonstrates one important way to show support: finding local events such as LGBTQ pride events sends multiple messages to your child: you are taking action to demonstrate that you support and celebrate who they are and you are helping them see and connect with a community that may not be as visible to them in their school or neighborhood.


    • aliciaortego
      Participant
      #3148

      I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I am glad that you kid knows all the ways that people can love each other in the world. I just also hope that her friends and their friends will be as much understanding as you are.
      I can also see how the girl that she had a crush on maybe wasn’t mature enough to identify herself as anyone so I guess that “relationship” wasn’t a great one. The tip that I can you is showing your daughter what it means to be kind. This way she will know whether people are acceptive of her and will find out what people can support her and become friends with her. If you need a piece of advice on how to communicate kindness to your kids find tips in my blog https://aliciaortego.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-kind/

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