Topic:

Our 18 year old is gay

Hello everyone. For a couple of years I’ve had my suspicions that our son was gay. Every time I asked him he would adamantly say no. Yesterday I came across a text message between him and another boy that confirmed all my suspicions. We asked him again last night and he finally admitted it. My husband actually responded better than I did. Even though I’d always had an inkling seeing it and hearing it out loud shook me to me core. I feel heartbroken and am grieving the future that I’d always envisioned for him. I am also ashamed to admit that I’m worried of how some family members will react to this news. I am at a loss. I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know how to act or how to feel. I know he is the same person as always and I will love him no matter what. I guess this is just a lot to deal with. Please help and tell me this will get better.

Support for parents of LGBTQ › Forums › Discussion Forum › Our 18 year old is gay

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    • MomBANDLCB4
      Participant
      August 7, 2023 at 7:53 pm
      #4521

      Hello everyone. For a couple of years I’ve had my suspicions that our son was gay. Every time I asked him he would adamantly say no. Yesterday I came across a text message between him and another boy that confirmed all my suspicions. We asked him again last night and he finally admitted it. My husband actually responded better than I did. Even though I’d always had an inkling seeing it and hearing it out loud shook me to me core. I feel heartbroken and am grieving the future that I’d always envisioned for him. I am also ashamed to admit that I’m worried of how some family members will react to this news. I am at a loss. I don’t know how to help him. I don’t know how to act or how to feel. I know he is the same person as always and I will love him no matter what. I guess this is just a lot to deal with. Please help and tell me this will get better.


    • Jackson Alder
      Moderator
      August 8, 2023 at 2:10 pm
      #4522

      Hi MomBANDLCB4, you came to the right place to process your feelings and get support. We recommend checking out our Parents Guide and Journey for Parents. These guides can help you on your journey with your gay son. It’s also important to ask him if he needs help or how he needs help. For some, it’s not something that requires your help – just your love and acceptance. You’re right that he is still the same person, and would likely want you to act the same way you always have. Saying you will love him no matter what is a great first step! It will get better and we’re happy to help however we can.

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