Topic:

Explaining lack of acceptance

My daughter is bisexual, she is 15 years old. She has been dating this girl for awhile now. The girl’s mom isn’t as accepting as I am. The lady blames my daughter for everything her daughter is doing wrong. She’s degraded my daughter to her girlfriend and recently she has taken the girls phone so they can’t talk and taken them off of the same bowling team. My daughter does has severe abandonment issues due to her father abandoning her when she was 8 so losses for her hit her pretty hard. She told me yesterday that I might have to worry about her doing something if this girl’s mom makes them split up. I want to confront this woman for what she is doing to my daughter and her own by acting the way she is. I would like to think there is something more going on to where this woman is expressing such hatred, but the only thing I can come up with is she has a problem with her child being gay. I don’t know how to get my daughter through this because I don’t understand it myself. I need any advise anyone can give.

Support for parents of LGBTQ › Forums › Discussion Forum › Explaining lack of acceptance

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    • Lyn0615
      Participant
      November 8, 2019 at 12:23 pm
      #2831

      My daughter is bisexual, she is 15 years old. She has been dating this girl for awhile now. The girl’s mom isn’t as accepting as I am. The lady blames my daughter for everything her daughter is doing wrong. She’s degraded my daughter to her girlfriend and recently she has taken the girls phone so they can’t talk and taken them off of the same bowling team. My daughter does has severe abandonment issues due to her father abandoning her when she was 8 so losses for her hit her pretty hard. She told me yesterday that I might have to worry about her doing something if this girl’s mom makes them split up. I want to confront this woman for what she is doing to my daughter and her own by acting the way she is. I would like to think there is something more going on to where this woman is expressing such hatred, but the only thing I can come up with is she has a problem with her child being gay. I don’t know how to get my daughter through this because I don’t understand it myself. I need any advise anyone can give.


    • Moderator
      Keymaster
      November 8, 2019 at 11:50 pm
      #2833

      What a difficult time for your daughter, and for you as a mother. It is easy to understand why you would want to have a conversation with the other parent, who may not be aware of the effects her behavior is having on your daughter.

      However, although it may feel as though confronting the other parent will help keep your daughter safe and healthy, the most effective way to help is to start with your daughter. Her comment about “doing something” could be her way of communicating that she is having thoughts of harming herself or someone else, or it could be a way of letting you know how upset she is. Either way, you cannot go wrong with verbalizing your love and support to your daughter and helping her understand that although the other parent may be struggling with acceptance, you are 100% on her side. If you are concerned that she may harm herself or someone else, reach out for help. This could be a call to her doctor or a therapist, or if you are unsure if you are able to keep her safe, calling 911 or taking her to an emergency room is a way to have her assessed immediately. Additionally, you will find a hotline and helpful information at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The most important thing, again, is to communicate to your daughter that no matter what happens, you are there to listen, love, and support her.

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