Topic:

Any transgender or gay kid parents who has a difficult child?

I have a 8 yo son who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. He can be very difficult at times. A lot of talking back, saying mean things to his younger sibling, peers and his own parents. Everyday I tell him if you don’t have anything nice to say just don’t say it. We are just so fed up with him. It was never easy for him to make friends but now he has two best friends who are girls. Around two years ago he requested getting him a dress which we did. He loves wearing sparkly jewelries and flower hairpins to school. He told me couple of times he wished he was a girl so he can freely dress however he wants and have people not ask him “why are you dressed like a girl?” He is not afraid to show who he is and as a parent I’m very proud of that. I fully support whoever he is at the end. He even has a therapist and when I asked her if she can tell whether he is gay or transgender girl she say he’ll let us know when he is ready. This is the part I’m having a really hard time with and wondering if there’s another parents with LGBTQ child that can shed me some insight. Whoever he might be, I just want him to be less angry and feeling like a victim all the time. He is always blaming everyone around him for his misbehavior. From what I understand he is not being bullied or anything at school for who he is. At home we accept him for who he is. If he is in fact acting up because he is a transgender girl then I just want him to come out already and I will fully help him to transition so he can be a happier kid. I’m just frustrated at not knowing how long I have to keep dealing with this bitter angry kid. If anyone knows or went through what I’m going through I would love to hear from you. I know it will all come out when he feels he is ready but I’m so fed with him these days.

Support for parents of LGBTQ Forums Discussion Forum Any transgender or gay kid parents who has a difficult child?

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    • jjc0805
      Participant
      #2910

      I have a 8 yo son who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. He can be very difficult at times. A lot of talking back, saying mean things to his younger sibling, peers and his own parents. Everyday I tell him if you don’t have anything nice to say just don’t say it. We are just so fed up with him. It was never easy for him to make friends but now he has two best friends who are girls. Around two years ago he requested getting him a dress which we did. He loves wearing sparkly jewelries and flower hairpins to school. He told me couple of times he wished he was a girl so he can freely dress however he wants and have people not ask him “why are you dressed like a girl?” He is not afraid to show who he is and as a parent I’m very proud of that. I fully support whoever he is at the end. He even has a therapist and when I asked her if she can tell whether he is gay or transgender girl she say he’ll let us know when he is ready. This is the part I’m having a really hard time with and wondering if there’s another parents with LGBTQ child that can shed me some insight. Whoever he might be, I just want him to be less angry and feeling like a victim all the time. He is always blaming everyone around him for his misbehavior. From what I understand he is not being bullied or anything at school for who he is. At home we accept him for who he is. If he is in fact acting up because he is a transgender girl then I just want him to come out already and I will fully help him to transition so he can be a happier kid. I’m just frustrated at not knowing how long I have to keep dealing with this bitter angry kid. If anyone knows or went through what I’m going through I would love to hear from you. I know it will all come out when he feels he is ready but I’m so fed with him these days.


    • Janet Duke
      Keymaster
      #2911

      Many young people struggle as they try to understand their identity and it can manifest as anger, depression or secrecy among other things. Our parent stories often mention how unhappy or difficult a child was before coming out. With ADHD you have an added challenge. We have some resources on our site (look under transgender) but please also visit https://www.genderspectrum.org This site focused on transgender primarily and has articles about development, parenting, and research that may be helpful to you.

      Another thought, consider a therapist for yourself as well. You have many things to deal with that might go better with support. If you don’t find a local resource you might find an option on http://www.betterhelp.com or other online counseling groups.

      Best wishes to you and your family,

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