Topic:

Advice on Pro Noun Expectations/Respect

Hello.

I am a 34 year old Dad of a child who came out as Trans about 8 Months ago. I have been struggling with it since like most of you, life is pretty complicated and it’s not so black and white. To sum it up, Their Mother and I divorced about 2 years ago. We were married for 15 years. Shortly after divorcing, my ex wife came out as Bi and got into a relationship with a woman. My middle child came out as lesbian about a month later and then a few months later after my ex’s sister came out as a trans male, my middle child came out as trans and wanted to be known as he/him. We talked about it and while I am supportive, I struggle with always saying he/him instead of she/her. (They are 12) I also struggle because they still dress feminine and act feminine. They have friends who came out as trans, My son gets upset when they hear me use the wrong pronouns and says I hurt their feelings. I want to respect my child, but I don’t know how harmful it is. Am I just feeding their generations fad? If I’m just generationally not getting it? or if I need to just adopt and let them figure themselves out? I want to do the right thing and be supportive of my child, I just want to make sure I’m helping them and not harming them. Any advice or help would be much appreciated. Thank you.